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Q: I’m severely obese according to the charts and I have a lot of medical issues. I’m 66. Is it too late for me to make a difference in my health?
A: Nope. I’ve seen people do it. Typically, people who are very overweight have some kind of imbalance in their lives that is keeping them “stuck” from taking action to lose this weight and often they have been stuck for a very long time. So, while obesity is clearly visible on the body, I believe that it is the invisible ‘stuckness’ that has been in charge.
You can’t be in your 60s and be very overweight without having been in your 50s and been overweight and your 40s and been overweight. It’s something that you have carried with you as you age.
It’s been my experience and my belief that until whatever blocked you from making these changes when you were younger is dealt with, you won’t be able to make these changes.
I frequently hear someone say things like, “As soon as I think about losing weight, I want to eat everything.” It’s important to find out why this is. What are they reacting to in their life?
I would suggest that it is important to investigate where you are with regard to your happiness with yourself before (or in addition to) attempting to lose weight.
If you don’t, it is unlikely that you will make an impact now – just like you didn’t when you were in your 40s or 50s. Although there are sometimes medical reasons for obesity, I believe that it is most often the result of a mental health thing.
Having said that, here are some things to think about and some steps to take.
1. Ask your self what purpose you have in staying obese or overeating. This can be done with a therapist or counselor, a supportive friend, or by keeping a journal. A food diary may be helpful to track your eating, how you are feeling when you eat, and what else is going on at the time. Some reasons for overeating may be self-comfort, ‘stuffing’ feelings, boredom, etc. Get a handle on that. In addition to the food diary, try journaling your feelings or experimenting what might make you feel as good as that slice of chocolate cake. Did you know that walking and physical exercise releases endorphins in your body that can ease pain, depression, and make you feel good? Could you substitute going outside for a walk for that slice of cake? Journal about the results.
2. Decide why you want to lose weight. Reasons are personal. They could range from getting a ‘bikini body’ to staying alive and healthy to see or play with your grandchildren. A philosopher once said that the person who has a ‘why’ can bear almost any ‘how’. This means that if you hold your ‘why’ or your goal in front of you, then you can do what you must to make it happen. So, finding your why is critical to your success.
3. When it comes to what we eat and drink, we nearly always know what our personal culprits are. We may drink too many soft drinks, eat large helpings, finish every meal with ice cream, and snack before we go to bed. Identify your biggest issues and set out to tackle them one by one. Cut back or cut out the soft drinks and replace them with water. Start using a smaller plate and measure your portions. Swap after meal ice cream from fruit or a small handful of almonds. Cut out the before bed snack or swap for popcorn (no butter) or a hot tea.
4. Set up a reward system that is unrelated to food. Make yourself a chart (you can put this in your food diary) and give yourself a star for every time you choose the healthy alternative. When you have a week full of successes, treat yourself to a new book, a day at the beach, etc.
5. Make a meal plan and cook and home instead of eating out. This has the advantage of being healthier and saving money. Replace old foods or old preparation methods with new ones. Grilled or baked instead of fried. Fill up with salads first and then go on to the main course. Water or iced tea in place of sodas. Fruit, nuts, and cheese in place of prepared snacks. Every substitution is a step toward a healthier you.
6. Set manageable goals for yourself. You may want to lose 100 pounds. Break it into steps. “I’m going to lose 10 pounds.” That may still be too big a goal to feel successful. Break it down even more. “I’m going to lose 2 pounds.” When you succeed, reward yourself with something other than food, and set the next 2-pound goal.
7. Go on the internet and read or watch other success stories. If others have done it you can do it as well. Make yourself an “I can do it” file filled with these success stories and videos. Return to read or watch them as often as you need to do to remain encouraged and on track.
8. Remember, unless there are truly medical reasons, losing weight and becoming healthier is about making decisions. Uncovering why you overeat and finding your ‘why’ for losing weight and becoming healthier are going to be as individual as you are. The decision to get healthy is a personal one, a positive one, and you are worth it.
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